Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's

Jeff converted the unused handshake into a gesture of clapping his hands together once. One does love taking cues from the Eleventh Doctor. "Alright, nice to meet you I guess. Also, 'The what?'"

Weiss blinked, utterly stunned "Are... you three serious?"

"Yes."

"Totally."

In Mark's head "I'm doing this for shits and giggles."

"Yep." Jeff was pretty sure that whatever a dust company was it was probably unimportant - Mark ought to have told them about the important bits. Probably the company sold vacuums or something.

"Do you sell vacuums?" Mark asked.

Wiess' eye twitched and a vain appeared to have busted open over her right eye. Pyrrha, not liking how this conversation was going, took a step to the side and next to Kon "So, you ready?" she asked nervously.

"If you're trying to transmit the information via telepathy it's not working."

"AS ready as one can be, my name's Kon, a pleasure to meet you." Kon says, switching oto to his left hand to offer his right for a handshake.

"Pyrrha." The warrior said shaking Kon's hand.

Wiess waited another second before exploding into a rant that could be described as a hyper fast version of this.

Skip to 1:23


"... What?" Jaune and Mark said again.

"Do you by any chance have a clue as to what the training will be ike? "

Jeff was accustomed to listening to extremely fast speaking, quickly recognized it as a legal disclaimer and ignored the rest of what Weiss said in favor of applying his reading skills to the pamphlet. "Oh. So dust is literally what the world runs on. Cool." He raised an eyebrow at Jaune and Mark. "How did you guys not know this?"

"Not really, since we're being called to the forest, it will probably have something to do with that." Pyrrha said.

"I live in the country."

"I'm in it for the lol's."

"Would all first year students please report to Beacon Cliffs, repeat, all first year students report to Beacon Cliffs." Said a voice from the loudspeaker.

"Well looks like we're up, let's head out all." Kon says, heading towards their destination.

"ALRIGHT! Croquet mallets here I come! Nice meeting you, Weiss." Jeff took off for the Beacon Cliffs.

"... Who are you people?" Weiss asked no one as everyone went on their way to the Cliffs.

Once at the cliffs, everyone was lined up on platforms overlooking the forest as Ozpin begins a speach "For years you have trained to become warriors, and today your abilities will be evaluated in the Emerald forest.”

“Now, I’m sure many of you have heard rumors about the assignment of teams. Well allow us to put an end to your confusion.” Glynda explains “Each of you will be given teammates, today.”

Glynda’s announcement sends a ripple effect throughout the students. Some are happy, while others are frightened. Mark, was smiling his ass off.

“These teammates will be with you for the rest of your time here at Beacon, so it is in your best interests to find someone with which you can work well.” Ozpin explains.

The number of worried expressions suddenly doubles.

“That being said, the first person you make eye contact with after landing will be your partner for the next four years.”

Meak heard the sound of something shattering in the distance. It was probably his imagination. On a completely unrelated note, Ruby looks to be at least three shades paler.

“After you’ve partnered up, make your way to the northern end of the forest. You will meet opposition along the way. Do not hesitate to destroy everything in your path, or you will die. You will be monitored and graded for the duration of your initiation, but our instructors will not interfere. You will find an abandoned temple at the end of the path containing several relics. Each pair must chose one, and return to the top of the cliff. We will guard that item, as well as your standing, and grade you appropriately. Are there any questions?”

Inwardly, Mark mourned any hope of being desecrate here.

Helsing wrote:"... Who are you people?" Weiss asked no one as everyone went on their way to the Cliffs.

The phrase "I'm the goddamned Batman" very nearly was said, though Jeff was too far away by this point and also disinclined to explain who Batman was - Weiss didn't seem like she would know.

Helsing wrote:Once at the cliffs, everyone was lined up on platforms overlooking the forest as Ozpin begins a speach "For years you have trained to become warriors, and today your abilities will be evaluated in the Emerald forest.”

“Now, I’m sure many of you have heard rumors about the assignment of teams. Well allow us to put an end to your confusion.” Glynda explains “Each of you will be given teammates, today.”

Jeff hadn't heard shit. Mark was asleep on the job or just screwing with him.

Helsing wrote:Glynda’s announcement sends a ripple effect throughout the students. Some are happy, while others are frightened. Mark, was smiling his ass off.

“These teammates will be with you for the rest of your time here at Beacon, so it is in your best interests to find someone with which you can work well.” Ozpin explains.

The number of worried expressions suddenly doubles.

“That being said, the first person you make eye contact with after landing will be your partner for the next four years.”

Meak heard the sound of something shattering in the distance. It was probably his imagination. On a completely unrelated note, Ruby looks to be at least three shades paler.

So these teams would last four years, and were determined completely at random? Ha! Jeff already had an aversion to eye contact, time to abuse the hell out of that. He decided he'd probably spend the majority of the time staring at the ground until he determined that his partner was up to snuff. What is snuff anyway?

Helsing wrote:“After you’ve partnered up, make your way to the northern end of the forest. You will meet opposition along the way. Do not hesitate to destroy everything in your path, or you will die. You will be monitored and graded for the duration of your initiation, but our instructors will not interfere. You will find an abandoned temple at the end of the path containing several relics. Each pair must chose one, and return to the top of the cliff. We will guard that item, as well as your standing, and grade you appropriately. Are there any questions?”

Inwardly, Mark mourned any hope of being discreet here.

FTFY

Jeff's hand hit the air. "So, for clarification. When you say 'destroy everything in your path,' how literal are we supposed to take that? Do trees count? Other teams? The atmosphere?"

"Trees, monsters, rocks, whatever you feel the need to destroy is fine." Ozpin stopped to take a drink of his coffee.

"No, that doesn't mean students and is that atmosphere comment a joke?" Glynda asked.

"Not with enough napalm it isn't."

Nick who finally showed up sent death glares at the rest of his friends and mostly his brother for the hole no shirt comment. I wasn't bad and really was an interesting development but when you had to run and hid to go to the rest room it wasn't fun. Girls were scary and the equivalent of pretending to be mortal again sucked. But that slowly dissipated when the teachers started talking and Jeff intervened. And pro ply broke down laughing.

"Anymore questions?" Glynda asked annoyed.

Jaune raised a hand "Um... sir?"

"Good!" Ozpin said, completely ignoring Jaune "Take your positions."

Then, without warning, the platforms under the students shot them into the air.

Nick's land strategy was simplistic in nature. Although impossible to most. While flying through the air arms spread wide enjoying the moment to pull out his scroll to putt it one shuffle.

First on the playlist: Teardrops.

"Ok NO."

Next on the playlist: Insanity.

"Nope."

Coming close to the trees He was force to hit next yet again and prepare to land.

Next on the Playlist: We're all made here.

Hit the tree and changing the large branch he took with him into a surf board and prepared to land surf to a stop. Unfortunatly that didn't happen as the board broke along the way bashing throw another tree.

"Oh well cannon ball!"

THUDE!!

One smoking crater and one large dust cloud settling reviled nick with only his head above the ground at the bottom of a large crater. Craning his neck to spot one of Ozpins mini cameras, seeing quite a bit of black smoke dissipating into thin air.

"Well that could have gone better but all things considered. I would say that went rather well. Although I am disappointed at the size of the crater though. Should have made a bigger one."

Jeff regarded the whole "flying through the air" thing as highly entertaining, right up until the point where he realized he had no suitable music in mind. All of his favorite songs were power metal - fine for kicking the stuffing out of something, not so fine for what he had in mind.

Say, speaking of that, he was coming right up to the apex of his flight. Time to put that Semblance to good use. He flattened himself out, leaning forward so he was lying down in midair and adopted a Superman pose as twin wings constructed of his Semblance's hard-light sprouted from his back, catching the air and slowing his descent to a crawl relative to his forward motion - turning what would have been a free-fall into a leisurely glide northward.

It might be a while before he hit the ground. Good. That would be enough time to sing the entirety of A Whole New World

Kon, not knowing that he and his fellow students would be flung into the pale blue sky, handled the situation with as much grace and composure as an ostrich, tucking himself into a ball, he clutched Oto for dear life, at the apex of Kon's flight, a massive sound blast was sent out from his cane, bouncing him up a few feet, Kon repeated this tactic until he landed in a tree... and then slipping off of the tree and landing on the forest floor.

Standing up, Kon brushes any dirt from his jacket, for all things considered, it could have been worse.

As the wind rushed passed him, Mark almost laughed at the expressions at some of the students. With his hidden godlike vision, he could see the scared and confused faces of his fellow students. The best however, was the fact that Jaune was capable of reaching octaves higher than any male should be able to do. But while it was entertaining, he should focus on a landing strateg-HOLY SHIT KON THAT WAS LOUD!

Mark winced slightly at the huge explosion of sound from Kon's cane, but he shrugged it off. As he approached the ground, he took his halberd, which he hadn't named yet.

Why not Devastator? Over the top enough for someone to question his choice in naming things long enough that they can get shot. Meh, he'll ask Jeff for a better name later. Anyway, Mark spun Devastator in his hands, turning it into its sniper riffle mode. The riffle was just as big as the halberd form, so the gun was roughly as tall as Mark was. Just as he was about to hit the ground, Mark fired one high powered round into the ground, causing an explosion that propelled him up and straight towards a tree.

Spinning in the air, Mark hit the trunk of the tree with his feet, but his momentum caused the tree to crack at the base and begin to fall. Using this as the ride that it was, Mark rode the tree all the way to the ground. It hit the ground with a huge crash and once the dust settled, Mark stepped purposefully off.

He placed devastator on his back and brushed himself off. That was better than expec- Mark's head snapped up when he heard coughing. He turned to see Weiss waving the dust out of her eyes and she looked up to see who had killed the tree. And looked straight at Mark.

"Uh.... hi?"

Kon was beginning to think the forest was a bit too quiet, as he tapped his way between the trees hoping to find another student, he hoped to god it was one of the few he met yesterday, he hated introducing himself.

It was when he was taping his way around that Kon heard a huge crash. A tree fell down right in front of him and suddenly he felt the presence of one who he knew already.

"Kon?" Said Nora "Oh my god was that explosion you? Did I hit you with a tree?"

"Yes and no, in that order." Kon said, after jumping back away from the fallen tree.

"Nice landing by the way. "