Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
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Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
When the vast sea of Multiverses was created, special care was taken to separate each and every one of them. For if one realms gods saw that there was something else beyond their domain, the True Gods would be forced to watch war beyond measure.
So the keys for traveling between the dimensions were scattered, and their locations lost to time.
But whatever asshole was in charge of scattering those pieces royally f@cked it up.
What was supposed to be lost for all of time was found again in a week, by a being that could only be matched by its primordial brethren. To call them gods would be an insult. They are so far beyond gods that the gods of old look like mere children in their eyes. These are the beings that first shaped the universe, created something from nothing and started the fires of the Forge of Creation.
They molded the very concept of power. Creating things so far beyond imagination that the mortal mind would break before it came close to comprehension.
They birthed the very idea of control. Putting the stars, the supernovas and the universe into the motions that it finds itself in.
They started the practice of civilization. They brought together sparks and stardust and created the first idea of life.
And they were the ones who first showed the universe the power of true destruction.
Just as a heads up, these are the guys in charge.
****
In a office site located in a place where only these primordial's could stand, the master of destruction, Haduri, tried and failed to face palm "Let me get this straight, you want me to open the gates to the seperate realms for, and I quote 'Shits and giggles'."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I'm cool with this where do we go first?"
So the keys for traveling between the dimensions were scattered, and their locations lost to time.
But whatever asshole was in charge of scattering those pieces royally f@cked it up.
What was supposed to be lost for all of time was found again in a week, by a being that could only be matched by its primordial brethren. To call them gods would be an insult. They are so far beyond gods that the gods of old look like mere children in their eyes. These are the beings that first shaped the universe, created something from nothing and started the fires of the Forge of Creation.
They molded the very concept of power. Creating things so far beyond imagination that the mortal mind would break before it came close to comprehension.
They birthed the very idea of control. Putting the stars, the supernovas and the universe into the motions that it finds itself in.
They started the practice of civilization. They brought together sparks and stardust and created the first idea of life.
And they were the ones who first showed the universe the power of true destruction.
Just as a heads up, these are the guys in charge.
****
In a office site located in a place where only these primordial's could stand, the master of destruction, Haduri, tried and failed to face palm "Let me get this straight, you want me to open the gates to the seperate realms for, and I quote 'Shits and giggles'."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I'm cool with this where do we go first?"
Helsing- The Marksman
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
"Let the record show I did not agree to this, It just so happens I have nothing to do today." Jon-lo states.
A Blind Guy- Molestor of Gods
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
"Oh cut the crap. You've had nothing to do for the past week and you know it." Jefferson Dietrich, the assumed name of the Ancient God of Creation Whose Titles He Changes On A Minute-to-Minute Basis Because He Finds That Amusing, conjured up a dart with a wave of his hand and threw it at a poster on the wall. "That one, Hadarai. No idea what it is but that makes it more fun."
Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Jon was about to make a comeback remark but he was at a loss for words, so he just conjured a banana and started munching on it.
A Blind Guy- Molestor of Gods
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
"For the record, I've only had nothing to do for six days twenty three hours and fifty six minutes."
Hadarai glances at Jon "Ultimate cosmic powers and a banana is what you make. Truly, you are using your powers to the fullest."
Hadarai glances at Jon "Ultimate cosmic powers and a banana is what you make. Truly, you are using your powers to the fullest."
Helsing- The Marksman
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Join date : 2013-10-13
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
"Well what else am I supposed to do? I haven't had breakfast yet." Jon replies, finishing the banana and setting the peel on fire, quickly getting rid of the ashes.
A Blind Guy- Molestor of Gods
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Jeff spawned a donut and threw it at Jon. Then, to make sure his point got across, repeated the action about a dozen times.
"Dammit, now I'm hungry..."
"Dammit, now I'm hungry..."
Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Jon spawns a large bagette and uses it to sway away the incoming donuts. "Quit wasting food."
A Blind Guy- Molestor of Gods
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
"I will set all the food on fire in a second please put them away."
Helsing- The Marksman
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Join date : 2013-10-13
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Jon turns the bread into vapor and catches a donut, biting into it. " Done."
A Blind Guy- Molestor of Gods
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Jeff retrieved the donuts, purged the foreign detritus from their surfaces, and ate them all. At once.
"Mmm, tasty."
"Mmm, tasty."
Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
"Ok so with breakfast taken care of, shal we go?"
A Blind Guy- Molestor of Gods
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Hadarai sighs "Might as well."
The god waves his hand and a portal opens up "Now I have absolutely no clue where this goes. Oh who am I kidding? I know exactly where this goes."
He then runs behind Jon and straps a jet-pack to his back "Which is why Jon's going in first."
Before Jon could do anything, the jet activated and he flew through the portal at warp speeds.
The god waves his hand and a portal opens up "Now I have absolutely no clue where this goes. Oh who am I kidding? I know exactly where this goes."
He then runs behind Jon and straps a jet-pack to his back "Which is why Jon's going in first."
Before Jon could do anything, the jet activated and he flew through the portal at warp speeds.
Helsing- The Marksman
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Join date : 2013-10-13
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Location : Take a left at the pile of dead bodies. Then go forward until you get to Hell, if you reach satan's place you've gone to far.
Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
"wait- woahnonononnonononNONONONONO-" Jon was able to say before he is rocketed through the portal.
A Blind Guy- Molestor of Gods
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Jeff stuck his head in the portal. "IS IT SAFE? ARE YOU DEAD YET? IS THE ATMOSPHERE COMPATIBLE WITH CARBONATED BEVERAGES?"
Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
"No clue, maybe and I'm pretty sure."
Helsing- The Marksman
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Join date : 2013-10-13
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Location : Take a left at the pile of dead bodies. Then go forward until you get to Hell, if you reach satan's place you've gone to far.
Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Through the portal all you hear is the sound of a can of vanilla coke opening, and then being drank.
A Blind Guy- Molestor of Gods
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Join date : 2013-05-15
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
As soon as Jon opened the can of soda he saw a laser aim sight from a gun level itself on Jon's chest.
"Don't move!" The owner of the gun says.
What Jon saw, was clearly not human but you guys are self aware, so I won't spend time writing a description.
I'll just put a picture.
"Shepard, I'm at the disturbance and there's some human drinking a beverage."
The creature resumed pointing his riffle at Jon "Ok buddy, mind telling me how you got out here?"
"Don't move!" The owner of the gun says.
What Jon saw, was clearly not human but you guys are self aware, so I won't spend time writing a description.
I'll just put a picture.
"Shepard, I'm at the disturbance and there's some human drinking a beverage."
The creature resumed pointing his riffle at Jon "Ok buddy, mind telling me how you got out here?"
Helsing- The Marksman
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Join date : 2013-10-13
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Location : Take a left at the pile of dead bodies. Then go forward until you get to Hell, if you reach satan's place you've gone to far.
Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
At this point Jeff took a few steps back, adopted a standard I Am About To Sprint Pose, then charged through the portal so fast he flew out completely horizontal.
Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Jon points to the still active portal behind him "That portal, plus a jetpack, the name's Jon by the way. "
A Blind Guy- Molestor of Gods
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
"Garrus." the creature says in response to Jon.
He was about to say something else but then he had to jump out of the way as Jeff flew out of the portal horizontal and crashed into the metal wall next to Garrus. Jeff's head went in but the rest of his body was completely ridged so his body stuck out with his head implanted into the wall.
Garrus blinked "So is there any other human's going through the portal?"
It was at this point that Hadarai-now named Mark-stepped through. He looks around for a second before grimacing "Oh right, this world. Note to self, don't tell Jeff about robot Cuttlefish."
He was about to say something else but then he had to jump out of the way as Jeff flew out of the portal horizontal and crashed into the metal wall next to Garrus. Jeff's head went in but the rest of his body was completely ridged so his body stuck out with his head implanted into the wall.
Garrus blinked "So is there any other human's going through the portal?"
It was at this point that Hadarai-now named Mark-stepped through. He looks around for a second before grimacing "Oh right, this world. Note to self, don't tell Jeff about robot Cuttlefish."
Helsing- The Marksman
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Join date : 2013-10-13
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Location : Take a left at the pile of dead bodies. Then go forward until you get to Hell, if you reach satan's place you've gone to far.
Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
"That should be it." Jon says, closing the portal.
A Blind Guy- Molestor of Gods
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Join date : 2013-05-15
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Jeff, remaining suspended in midair, abruptly reversed the motion so he was an inch from Marcus' head. "Robot....cuttlefish?"
"MY BRETHREN!?"
Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Jon stepped away from the two. "Oh gods no."
A Blind Guy- Molestor of Gods
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Join date : 2013-05-15
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Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's
Mark blinked for a second before Garrus copied the action "What-?"
"The fuck?" Mark finished.
"The fuck?" Mark finished.
Helsing- The Marksman
- Posts : 7768
Join date : 2013-10-13
Age : 25
Location : Take a left at the pile of dead bodies. Then go forward until you get to Hell, if you reach satan's place you've gone to far.
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