SAO: Gamebreakers 2

"That is a really bad idea. waiting to bit us in the ass. So no."

Jeff nodded. "I've seen Age of Ultron, but the thing is I've also seen Terminator. Although...siccing the Terminator on Kayaba would be delightfully karmic..."

"I think it would be fun."

"I like this idea now."

"USAL WE HAVE A JOB FOR YOU!"

"Okay, I'm leaving before the lawnmower shows up. I want some pizza." Jeff pulled an about-face and jumped straight up and over the eighty-odd feet of obsidian brick wall, making a three-point landing on the other side before sprinting inside for the kitchen.

Usul sits in the kitchen eating ice cream and feeling bad about himself. He has rendered his image in 16 bit, and the warrior sprite he was using made him look clunky. I'm eating my feelings...  they're pretty salty.... Usul throws the salty ice cream down and looks up as Jeff bursts through the door.

Um...  Whats up doc?

"PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Jeff went for the cupboard

After having made pizza, Jeff went after Jonn, having a practical problem for the resident engineer to solve.

Jonn is sipping at a mug of coffee. "What's up?"

"The chances of us being invaded by weird Knights of the Blood Oath. Technically we're at war, so how about we have some sentry guns in the form of automated ballistae and rotary crossbows?

"hmm, give me an hour." Jonn says, swigging the last of his coffee and bolting to the walls to begin work.

Jeff took out a pocketwatch.

59 minutes later, Jonn comes back winded. "Finished."

Nick came back from getting the last of the knights of the lawn and killing a few monsters so that they could leave. Only to see a lot of weapons that that seemed to be pointed at him.
He stopped.
He took a step to the side.
The siege engines followed him.
He then decided that this was a good time to call Jon to ask him what he did.

Jeff was already quite pleased, appearing at the gatehouse holding a pizza. "NO COOKIES." he screamed down at Nick before recognizing his "black-and-white-film Gilgamesh" armor.

"WHY WOULD I HAVE COOKIES!?" Nick shouted back taking a few steps forward but froze when a balista fired it flew past his head. He stopped again looking confused, and shouted. "JJJjJJOoOoOoONNNNnNnAaAAA!!!"

"NICK! WHEN DID YOU JOIN THE KNIGHTS OF THE BLOOD OATH?!"

Marcus teleported next to Jeff "NICKJOINEDWHATNOW!?!"

"WHAT,Whenhowwhy HOLD oN. How would you know before me!?" Sundden realization of great truth.
"JEFF YOU LIER! Stay right there." Nick said as he started walking forward again, Only to have every siege engine fire at once. The scene from 300 popped into his head, and he thought that it was completely off. Forget the sun nick couldn't see the sky. His second thought was something along the line of F*@$^&%. But what came from him was something between a squawk and a small dog. As the implements of distraction drilled holes in the yard, making a dust cloud so large it could be seen in town if one would look at the mountain.

Jeff doubled over laughing and nearly fell off the wall.

The large smoke cloud cleared to reveal a ruined yard with craters caused by the armada of bolt covered the yard. And standing in the middle of a unharmed ring perfectly fine was Nick. Who was currently flipping them all the bird, as he shouted.
"BUCK YOU MOTHERBUCKA! I HATE YOUR GUTS GOOD SIR! Just know that i hate your guts! Now get Jon so i can throw him into town!"

"No, his DEF isn't high enough."

"That's not a problem that's why i'm throwing him into town. He'll only take damage from the landing, and you can't die in town. I only want to scar him shirtless. Now where is he. Nick said taking another step forward to see another garage of siege weapons firing. "JJJJJJJJOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yes?" Jon asks, looking around the corner.