SAO: Gamebreakers

"No someone is hacking the system"

"I'm blaming Jon if shit goes down."

A thin line of blue code flashes over a blade of grass

{ Static . void . main
edit.ppc.ENTRY [Grass.res]
player.addREF {
| Create new form |

TERMINAL : Form change, submit edit?
CONSOL : [Yes]

/Sever.chat : Usul has changed REF.FORM [Grass.res]

TERMINAL : Create form?
USUL // [Yes]

The grass warps slightly, and a thin, tall Oak Staff stands in the field. Waiting...

Jeff's scimitars were in his hands in an instant, as though they had leaped of their own volition. "This could get interesting..."

"Yes interesting"

"Jeff i didn't take any of that poisoned beer did i? Because i don't remember taking LSD today. I think the fumes are getting to me." Nick says reading the mode and slowly raising his shields and stepping closer to the foreign object.

"Not with your Fort saves."

The oak pole stands indifferent to the confusion around it. Around it, a light blue haze, of numbers and subdued errors, as the code tries to figure out as much as the Players are. Suddenly, the Errors stop popping, and the blue haze turns into a pale blue mist that flows up the Staff, and seems to flow with and into it. It creates a fantastic ethereal effect. Suddenly it speaks. "Ah... Hello there?"

"Who're you?" Jeff went straight to the point.

nick whispers "somebody call ghostbuster." before taking another slow step forward and saying "hello strange mystical staff we bid you a peaceful greetings. And what he said."

"Smooth bro" Marcus says hearing the ghostbusters comment

There is a pause, then the Staff flashes a pale blue with every syllable. "Ah.. I'm Usul. I'm sort of not allowed to be here... I think I got the wrong 3d reference.... I did not have a Player model to use so.. I thought I would use this as a place holder... But ah, Yeah. I'm ah... Usul. Right now I guess I am a pole. Well, the code says "Oaken Staff" with some dumb amount of damage. But ah, I can change my DPS.. ha... that could be... interesting. Thought I guess I can not use myself to attack people. Someone can use my entity as a weapon though! So, Ah... Maybe take me with you? I want to play and see this game! I just.. never got a legit copy... so ah... I sort of ... Hacked... and account... and messed up the code a bit... I'm sorry... " The voice has a slight echo, and sounds more masculine.

"Wait, why the top-hat-wearing fuck would you hack into this? You realize you can legitimately die, right?"

There is another pause. "Well, I can't really afford much. But, its not a challenge unless there is death involved! Like, 'Why rock climb? You could die doing that, right?' Come on! Just like the guy that climbed the mountains of everest. 'I climbed it because it was there.' So ah, yeah... But, I kick ass! I can do a lot, trust me! "

"First of all, I always thought rock climbing was a waste of time. Second of all, you can do what? Hack? Trust me when I say that'll get you killed faster than anything." Jeff thought for a second. "SAO has some of the best security software ever invented. You set off too many triggers and your 'account' gets shut down. Hard. Which ends with you either permanently catatonic or dead."

"Ha, well then, lets hope it was worth the risk!"

"Christ on a pogo stick. I'm the insane one, that's my thing..." Jeff muttered, for all the world like a petulant child.

"Hey, thats an Idea! Do you think they have a digital model and code wrote for a pogo stick? Maybe I could see if I can edit my self into a pogo stick.. that would be cool. Also, as far as the Security knows, I am still that blade o' grass! Funny, a silly blade of grass has a lot of programing, but thats the Programers job, not security! Trust me, I just need a better form, and I could play this for years... " The pole stays not moving. "I ah.. I mean, all the senses are logged on, I just... can't move. There is no ports for the data to stream too, and so I can't... I can't freaking move! This sucks. I risked my life for this? Gaaaaw. "

"Oi, you have no right to complain. We've been trapped for two years in the fucking Hunger Games Lite with ten thousand toxic MMO players. Let's see you out-bitch that." Jeff said without anger. On impulse he poked the pole in an effort to knock it to the ground.

The pole falls over, and the mist condenses a moment where he poked it, before going back to its fading cloud. "Ouch! Dude, be gentle.. I'm a stick for crying out loud.. yeah, I saw it on the news before I Decked into this code. Someone found a bit of the source code, and put it online, and the government said they would pay people to get into this place, and check up on things, see if they could get people out. I mean, I'm sure others... tried right? Me? I just wanted to try this thing. I was looking for a way into the game, but it needed to be authorized from inside the generator itself. So as thus, I made a form, and a User, and 'Here I am!' But ah... I don't know what else I am going to do... I have no idea where this... Portkey is, that will get them out. I needed to find it in game, but I have no clue that that really even means. So. Ah.. Hey, can you set me upright, the breezes was very nice.. "

Jeff, deliberately, straightened the stick back up. Making sure, of course, that it was upside down - or at least that it was relative to its former position when it appeared.

"Gee thanks, your too kind..." Said the pole with heavy sarcasm.

"A pole with sarcasm" Marcus says "Jeff you have found your equal"

"I beg your pardon?"

"So ah... You guys wana take me with you? Maybe? Pwease?" The pole's mist seems to slow down to almost frozen crystals in suspension.