SAO: Gamebreakers

"Your funeral, I'm just complaining that I'M supposed the be the crazy one." Jeff said. The member in question, dual wielding daggers, attacked mercilessly, slashing at Jeff with both weapons in a frenzy.

And being parried every time. Once the Sword Skill ended Jeff just kicked him in the face, launching him into the ceiling before decapitating him with a flourish while pulling an about-face.

"These are just the guys walking by, wait until they get organized. Then we will have a problem on our hands. So jeff i trust that you will get runners." he says shrugging of little pieces of net. and continuing down the hall. Until they came upon three doors, two small does on either side and one larger one ahead.

"You say 'problem,' I hear 'mildly amusing yet pathetic distraction.'" Jeff said. He wasn't about to kick in any of the doors - that was Nick's job.

"Shall we go left to right?" he said kicking in the left door unveiling a hoard of demon hounds with shull masks. That were amazing under level. They swarmed nick and jeff attacking in a frenzy. doing nothing

"Jeff are you taking any damage?" he says laughing "That's a first."

"Not yet." Jeff didn't want to see how long that lasted. He wasn't the party tank. He held both scimitars out and spun one hundred eighty degrees one time, then backwards another, reducing the hounds to a pile of rapidly disappearing body parts.

nick fallowed suit and with nice arc they all fell. "ok small door number two."
he said smacking his hammer through the door.
"jeff what color was the flare for i found beer?"
he said pulling out a barrel.

"Dark orange. What is it with you and beer?"

"I don't know but it's beer, do you think it's poisoned?"

"Don't drink it now anyway, we're busy. Put it in your inventory."

Nick could see that his inventory was receiving a lot of items, Marcus' work no doubt

the giant barrel disappeared and he  look back into the closet, and sees five more barrels.
"uhhh jeff how much possibly corrupted beer do you want?"

his hub then begins to ping all over the place
"oh marcus found one of their chests or their storage room. oh there's a message."
"<I KNOW RIGHT! # 127>"

nick is confused "What, # 127?
It hurt himself in his confusion "What do you mean!"

he then began scrolling down the list of sent items when his face lighted up. "THEY HAVE THREE OF THEM!"

"I don't drink." Jeff reminded Nick curtly, before Nick screamed at him. "Three what?"

"Three s class Ragout Rabbits. Ohhhhh, we are have ing soup tonight!" Nick says with a joyous smile on his face.

"Oooooh." Jeff grinned. "Nice, but first let's kill de boss-man."

"oh right" Nick says as he clicks out of his menu and charges his hammer with the familiar silver glow.

a Long time after he was shining like a beacon light he thrusted it at the large center door. The door didn't so much fly of it's hinges, as exploded into thousand pieces of shrapnel. The room was obviously their great hall there was an open space with stairs on both sides of the walls. Leading up to a balcony, and there were tables everywhere, with people housed and dressed in black sitting silent starring at what used to be their door.

The smoke cleared and the silence strengthened, as Nick stepped forward.
"I have come to Kick ass, and chew bubble gum. And I am all out of Bubblegum."

The silence remained as people on the balcony stood up softly, coming to the railing to look down.

Jeff strode in after his Tank. "Ladies and gentlemen, murdering shitstains of all ages! Please do not adjust your sets!" He selected the closest black-clothed man and attacked, severing both arms in neat strokes before impaling the man in the gut. "My compatriot and I," he straightened, letting the dissolving body collapse, "have the following very important message for you: burn in hell!"

Nick left out a defining war cry that blasted the closest table and people sitting there, flying until they crashed tint the people behind them splintering wood and sending polygons everywhere. the floor in front of them was now clear the shattered tables made a nice barricade, but the crazed laughing coffin members ignored this and the fact that they were defending and launched themselves into the clearing.

"Into the fire."

The members in the room started throwing themselves at the two

Nick begins smashing heads in and sending people flying.
"i feel like this should be a lot hard than it is. It's more like wacko a mole."

A door opened up and three members of Laughing coffin walk into the room

"ze boss, is on the balcony do you want me to clear a path or just throw you?"

"Pfft. Acrobatics skill, remember?" Jeff said, proceeding to sprint to the wall next to the balcony. A Laughing Coffin member got in his way. He ended up with each half spinning off in opposite directions as Jeff continued at full speed before running part of the way up the wall, kicking off and landing adroitly on the balcony railing. 

There were four people dumb enough to rush him right then and there. The first one he jumped over, spinning as he did so to kick the guy's face into the railing before stabbing him. The next two attacked simultaneously from different directions. Jeff parried each attack before stabbing one and pitching the other off the railing, leaving him with a single, solitary opponent who appeared to be regretting his decision. The Dreadnought's twin scimitars took on a teal light before they each lashed out in a devastating combo that ended with at least seven body parts lying on the ground evaporating. Jeff pulled an Attack on Titan salute, swords in hand. "One at a time or all together, it makes no difference to me! Come at me, bros!"

Nick was both impressed and saddened at the sight. The first for the admiration of his friends skills, and the second because he doesn't throw people any more. Nick continues to beat head off people who come to close, for he was pretty sure that most of the people here could run faster than he. At this point Nick just assumes that everyone can out run him, so He was currently trying to egg them on and confuse them, so they don't realize this.
"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"

Everyone took a step back out of pure fear from what they just saw. The three leaders started laughing a mad laugh "Its show time" one of them says

Then everyone in the room attacked Jeff. From all direction knives, swords and spears came right at him. They were about to attack in a circle around Jeff but most didn't get close. From the celling and the shadows needles started to quite literally raining down on the Laughing Coffin members. They started falling like flies and from the shadows Marcus melded out. He took a battle stance near Jeff and from his wrists two hidden blades extended "Am I late?" he asks his friend

Across the room nicks ramblings could be heard
"Yes! for you are son of a hamster! Damn It!"

nicks ramblings didn't have the effect he wanted, instead of being uneasy they became curious. Eventually all the dumb ones died and everyone instead stayed behind the barricade and through knives in and attempt to wear him down.
"Guys you might want to do an epic back flip over the railing pretty soon.."

Nick charged the stairs and with a single swing it crumbled. He then though it to the other side of the room and blew up those stairs. The discarded energy that distorted the stairs sent his staff back to his hand. The sight apparently stunned all the knife throughers' and gave him enough time to get a little charge and throw it again above there heads leaving a large crack along the center of the platform. There was large creaking sound and the second floor began to cave in.