SAO: Gamebreakers 2

"Whatever it is explain it in custody"

"Do you not understand what 'piss off' means? You're on our property. Get off of it."

Asuna stomps her foot in frustration, And just sits down on the ground with a face full of defiance. "No!"

"What are you, three years old? Christ on His cross, lady, you're embarrassing yourself now."

"You know I have a mass teleporting skill, do you want me to use it?" Marcus asks

"Please do. I was hoping to not have to practice my nonlethal skills."

"You have nonlethal skills?"

"I switch out my scimitars for pool noodles."

"Ok pool noodles really?"

"Anything harder than that and I start dealing damage at a ridiculous rate."

"If you're going to be stubborn and stupid then so shall I."

Nick then produced a gun shot sound produced from his palm meeting his face.

"Lady, there's nobody in existence or out of it that can out-stubborn me."

"Take his word because trust me I've tried." nick said with a now red tattoo on his face

"I don't care. We don't have leave and we won't until our business is down and you comply."

"All right, this is now a metapod vs Magikarp battle, let's do this!" Jonn says before breaking into the pokemon battle theme on a keyboard.

"Metapod can learn tackle you know"

"So can the Magicarp, along with every T or HM. How do you know she doesn't know Flamthrower or Fire blast? mmm"

Sauna now confused, "Wait why am i now a pokemon?"

Marcus facepalms at his brother comment. He pulls out a calculator "Ok Metapod has a base attack of 20 with a base special attack of 25. Magicarp has a base attack of 10 and a base special attack of 15. If both of you were given flamethrower and fire blast and you were both at level one with no pre-breding EV training, Metapod would kick Magicarps ass on bass alone. BUT, we have a problem. Since Magicarp is water type and resists fire and Metapod is a grass type that is weak to fire Magicarp has the advantage. Now lets see, Metapod has a special defense of 25, flame thrower has a power of 75 and magicarp has 15 for special. With the damage bonus Magicarp would do"

He types a few number into the calculator "About 65 damage and Metapod only has 50 base HP. BUT! Metapod is sh@t and only has 20 HP and even with the damage reduction it would still die. SO SINCE I CAN'T REMEMBER THE BASE SPEED OF EITHER OF THEM IT IS SIMPLY A BATTLE OF WHO ATTACKS FIRST. SO, ASUNA OF THE KNIGHTS, JEFF CHALLENGES YOU TO A POKEMON BATTLE!"

the pokemon battle music picks up the tempo to about 6 times the speed and Jonn is now wearing sunglasses.

Marcus puts on glasses of his own and joins in with piano accompaniment

Nick picks up a small pebble and gently toss  it at Asuna Shouting "Go Magicarp! You can do it!" as i bounce off her armor with a ping.

Asuna the turns to nick Annoyed "I'm not a Pokemon, you don't own or command me!"

Nick raises his hand in surrender and says "I know and understand fully well, just making sure you know you have my support should you need it and I'm rooting for you."

"Smooth bro" Marcus says

"Metapod is a Bug-type, dumbass"

"Damage still applies the same"

"I know. But still. At any rate if we're doing a Pokémon battle I want my Sapphire team."

"You need to be trained with familliars."