SAO: Gamebreakers

"Ohohoho, does he now?" Jeff took the piece of paper. "Yeah. Okay," he cleared his throat and adopted a booming, important-sounding voice, "in my capacity as Guildmaster I deliver my official response: get bent!"

"What does Heathcliff being gay have anything to do with refusing him?"

"What? Nick, your mouth's talkin', you should fix that. Anyway," Jeff turned back to Asuna, casually throwing the letter over his shoulder as though he flippantly brushed off important pseudo-political figures twice before breakfast every day, "I see no reason to talk with your Guildmaster. He hasn't got anything I want, nor anything the rest of my Guild wants."

The pole whispers to Nick "Hey.. So whats going on, who is the other voice? No eyes, remember.. plus, Your INVENTORY SMELLS! What the heck do you GOT in HERE! "

"What the hell is that voice?" Asuna asks

"Nicks shaft" Marcus answers and Asuna's eyes widen

"Aw, look, she's gone bright red." Jeff grinned.

Nick's mouth drops is startled shock. "Noooo...mmm And i'm testing my new ventriloquist skill i set it to random automation, and as i' sure you can assume. it was a bad idea."

"Now they're both red. Remind me to have Jon make us some Asunick merchandise. Maybe we can sell them to her Guild."

nick blinked
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he then eventually stumbles out the words "Asun..nick?"
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"What"
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"No"
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Turns to Asuna "No offense sorry. But."
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Slowly turns back to Jefff
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"WHAT?"

"I ship it" Marcus says and Asuna had to stop herself from screaming in rage

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"Thanks for the assist?"
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"but,"
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"No, Merchandizing."
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"Please"

"Ha haha.. Ah this is dumb. This really is. "

Everybody's inventory's open all at once, indicating a new item. The item in question, a bright blue t-shirt with Asuna and Nick on it. "Did somebody say merchandizing?"

Jeff immediately put it on over his armor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU"RE GOING TO GIVE ME THOSE NOW! SO I CAN BURN THEM!"

"Aw, what about these?" Jonn hands nick a t shirt with Nick and Marcus on the front with "4 EVER" underneath.

"One True Threesome?"

"it si the internet after all, can I make that a T-shirt?"

"THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"I'm not the one ina threesome right now my friend."

"Mhmm.... Can I *Not* Be in this guys inventory then? Its damp and gross in here..."

Marcus looks at Asuna "This is what we are almost everyday and you should know by know that you really don't want our help"

"I was ordered to bring you before the guildmaster" She says defiantly. Marcus sighs "Hey can you make a shirt with all of us on it?" Completely ignoring Asuna

"Well, I don't want to talk to your Guildmaster, so tell him to get his butt over here if he wants to chat. Otherwise...well, you saw us in combat, you know there's no way you can force us to do anything."

"Oh come on it will be fun to make them look like idiots in there own home" Marcus says "Jeff just do this one thing and I doubt that they will ever bother us again"

"We will have to just prove that we are untouchable to the one who thinks he can touch us, and that would be Heathcliff. If we play this right no one will even try to bother us" he then proceeds to rip Jeff's shirt of with him standing there almost like the magic table top trick.